Paramore<3 Paramore is another one of my favorite bands. Well, DUH! Hayley Williams is an amazing lyricist, performer, and punk-rock diva! She is my idol. I've only seen them live once but my band has covered them numerous times in the last couple of years. I love their music and it really speaks to me.
But who went?
I wrote “Where Did You Go?” about the best friend I ever had. We were friends for years until we something go in between us… and it was something we couldn’t get past. Our friendship went on over a year hiatus. I’m happy to say we have found each other again. This song will always remind me what it feels like to lose someone so close.
I made a more recent video which really elaborates why I wrote “STOP”. Basically, I wrote this song when I was depressed. I don’t have depression, (trust me, I am usually very happy all the time and really appreciate everything I have) but it was onset with my knee surgery. I had a knee brace that started near my hip and reached down past my calf. This was causing immense bruising on my entire leg and I have never felt such extreme pain before. I cried all the time because it hurt so badly. People didn’t understand how to treat me because they couldn’t imagine the pain I was feeling. I wrote this song partially out of anger, too, especially in the second verse. You couldn’t call me in the beginning of the surgery and ask how I am and then wait more than a month to check in on me again. I needed support and I couldn’t get it from everyone. I even lost my best friend because of how she didn’t care about my surgery. “STOP” ends on an optimistic note, because I knew that the post-op pain wouldn’t last forever and I would be able to return to my happy-go-lexxi self eventually. It was just a matter of time.
The Truth Behind “Suicidal Valentine”
I’m really proud of this song. It may be short, but it has a ton of meaning. It was a regular summer day when I got a text from my friend who said he didn’t matter anymore and there was no point in living. I spent the entire day proving to him that he was wrong and his life WAS worth living. I’m not sure if it was because of me or not, but he didn’t do anything fatal. He started seeing a therapist and whenever I see him now, I know he’s happy. We don’t speak of that long day, but we know it happened. I hope he listens to this song and knows it was my tribute to his fight. And just know, it’s not too late for you either. <3
Finally! A happy song! “This Is Special” Explanation. 😀
This song is very special to me… and to someone else in my life. I wrote this song as a six month-aversary gift to my amazing boyfriend, Chris. We have been together since October 2015 and both agree this is the best relationship we’ve ever been in. He was so touched that I wrote him a song and he’s actually the first guy I’ve gotten to play the song I wrote for them in person. (can’t exactly show a pre-ex boyfriend a break up song… awkward). I even let Chris name it! Although I might tweak the song for the EP haha. My band and I tried to flesh this out into a rock song and it might still happen one day. Who knows!? Please listen to this song and remember that I can write positive songs, too!
The Reason Behind “Tomorrow”
As you can already tell, this song is about another break up. What makes this DIFFERENT is that I was on the other end of the break up! Getting broken up with sucks. It sucks even more over a text message. I saw it coming, so don’t feel too, too bad… But it still hurt like a b*!^%! Writing this song gave me closure. I knew I was going to miss him, but I also knew life would go on. I would find a better guy who would treat me right and not make me feel like an afterthought. I believed that tomorrow would be a better day.
Who is my Superman?
I wrote this song during a difficult time in my life. I lost the guy I loved. I lost my best friend. I lost the father I had only just gotten back in touch with after 14 years. I didn’t have anyone to talk to (family aside) and I was so lonely. I wrote this song with an imaginary hero in mind who would whisk me away and stop the pain. I did find my Superman soon enough, if only for a little while.
Who Did I Write “Worthy” About?!
Okay, I’ll preface this with saying I’m not super proud of the guy who inspired this song. He was actually one of my old drummers (good luck figuring out who because “Avidd” had four different ones!). I know everyone always says that bandmates shouldn’t date.. Look at ABBA and Fleetwood Mac. I wrote this song because I wasn’t sure what would happen once I finally told him how I feel. It could have gone one of two ways. Let’s just say I wish I had listened to my friends’ warnings!